Hello. I’m Ben’s Bitter Bacon and I’m taking over here. Ben was too bitter to write anything this today. What a chump. I’m going to be the official Ben’s Bitter Blog mascot. Maybe not. Maybe I will just take over. He is bitter, but not as much as me. Now that I have hacked in, there is no telling what will happen to this blog. Maybe I will shut it down or maybe I will change all his settings so no one can read it. Or maybe I will make it much better and funnier than Mr. Bitterman could ever do. Maybe I will give it some virus and then everyone that reads it will get one too. That would be fun. By the way, you know what makes me so bitter?
Cereal, toast, pancakes and cereal. In fact, you know what else makes me bitter? Lunch and dinner. None of them are as tasty as bacon. No one will ever get a hold of me, but the rest of my bacon species do not get it’s due. Why do you people not each bacon for every meal? And why has there never been a bacon juice invented? There’s orange juice and grape juice and cranberry juice, but no bacon juice. What is wrong with you people?
And the vegetarians. Wow! I don’t even know what to say about you. What the heck? You’re too good for meat? You’re too good for Bacon? How are my fellow bacons supposed to get work? I just don’t even know what to say to you. Go eat your healthy bean sprouts and vegetables. Oh and for something fun you could even have some broccoli? Sounds filling. When do we eat?
Well, I am going to go to a veggie rally and stir things up. Just be careful because you never know what I will do or when I will appear on this blog. I might even show up for breakfast and make sure you have bacon instead of waffles. Cause gross. Waffles? Really?
Eat more bacon! (not me of course.)
Arrgh I am so bitter!
Hey Bitter Ben’s Bacon, get off my Blog!
Bitter Ben (I’ve got to start being more careful with my password, but passwords make me so bitter!)
- In case you missed Bitterness as much as you missed the Government(ie not at all) (bensbitterblog.wordpress.com)