I screwed up. I messed up big time. I had an extra day and I blew it. I didn’t treat yesterday like a Ferris Bueller’s Day off. I didn’t put every ounce of my laziness into making it the laziest day ever. I got up relatively early. I took a shower aaand used deodorant. I even got dressed. I had all kinds of non plans, but I wasted them. Our family decided to do some chores; to get some things done. That slow leak in the driver’s side tire. That pretty much summed up how the day was wasted. We decided to waste pretty much half the day, either waiting for an employee of the Tire center to show up, (late today because it was Memorial Day, which I don’t blame, by the way. I would have shown up at noon.), or wait for the other stupid people that decided to come on a holiday to get their tires fixed and before it was too late, we were stuck in a vortex. Our car was in the shop, but it would have just sat there all day, if we didn’t just cut the cord and just leave with it unfixed. The kids and I decided to walk (and you know how little I like to do that) instead of wait there one more minute, while mom remained to pull the plug on the Tire-d fiasco.
Speaking of Tire-d, you should look back at the posts I did last week. If you think last week was ancient history, think back to how long ago an Old Ben Gardner Newsletter was. Who want to read about some of the most irrelevant issues ever like taking over the world(honestly who wants it now? And it sounds like a lot of work. Bitterness will happen with or without me taking it over.) and being on Home Improvement. Though it was a show within a show where a guy got hammered, nailed, electrocuted, burned, glued and shellacked, that has no relevance today.
Then I got burned like a peel out on some rubber tires (are there any other kinds?) by all these shows on TV claiming to be “Wars” when really all they were was competitions, or semi-professionals that just couldn’t get along with other people cause they are so “strong-willed” and out to get other people, because they are getting in the way…of my profits on The Bitter Battlefield of Fake Wars.
If that weren’t bad enough, I couldn’t even remember what I talked about on Friday. It was a long time ago. And I never seem to do the same exact thing every Friday, like eat pizza, slack off at work and uh, um, yeah, can’t remember what I do on my blog. I wonder if reading what I wrote will jog my memory. Ah yes, Bitter Memory Friday Giftures. How could I possibly remember that?
I was pretty Tire-d last week, so I only did a few tweets.
How is it 2014 and batteries are still running out of batteries?—
Bitter Ben (@Benadman) May 20, 2014
Let's Make A Deal: Where Halloween goes for the other 11 months of the year.—
Bitter Ben (@Benadman) May 20, 2014
Commenters were probably pretty Tire-d of me:
On The Bitter May Snowstorm and The Ben Gardner Newsletter Volume 3:
“It’s hard to have any sympathy for the cotton snow because I’m pretty a sure a week or two ago we had actual snow flurries. In May.” – Katie
“We got snow in Ireland in May once. It was a nice break from the constant rain.” V
“I am guessing you are not a snow lover…….” ksfinblog
On The Bitter Battlefield of Fake Wars:
“I agree. When did something as benign as baking cupcakes get a mach make-over? I think tv execs completely lack imagination so if it workd for one show… next up “Amish wars” – oh wait – don’t they already have that one?” thetattootourist
“We need a new show called The Comment Wars. I follow mostly Christian blogs and once in awhile I get caught in the crossfire of warring factions :)
“Words cannot express how much I absolutely freaking LOVED this post. I might go so far as to say that it’s my favorite of yours.
Also . . . that’s a REALLY BIG gnome. O.o” C. Miller
On Bitter Memory Friday Giftures:
“Who are you and why am I here?” – Bikerchick57
“Yes, let’s forget this week. It blew. Like that girl next to the muscleman wants to.” Kirbey
“I’m bitter that I can’t afford ANY vacation; and that our mortgage company calls us every week to remind us that we’re 2 months behind… Have a good one!” LVital7019
And just when you weren’t tired enough of this crap:
And perhaps, the feeling you got when you woke up this morning…
Alright, get back to it. Tell me what you did to waste your Ferris Bueller day.
Bitter Tire-d Ben